Behind that door, is something that I never intend to go back to.
It’s where I left the ghost, and my supposed to be future—with you. But I never really left first did I? I waited and waited and waited for you to come back. I spent days, weeks, months just trying to keep myself together, thinking and hoping you’ll be back. And that’s when I knew, I was wasting my time when you really have no intention of going back.
It took a lot of courage just to walk out of the door when all my life all I knew was that I love you and we were supposed to spend the rest of lives together, and now it’s not possible. How could it—when you left?
One day you might realize your mistake of leaving me. One day you might come knocking on that door again, well guess what? You’ll never find me there, because I have no intention of going back.
Promise me you’ll think of me during sunny days and remember the happiness that we felt when we’re together for the first time; when we found our way back into each other’s arms; the first time that we kissed; and everything good in between.
If it’s one of those gloomy grey days remember the way we fought about the smallest things; the day when we had out very first big fight and the consecutive days that we just keep in fighting. All the petty jealousies and my insecurities; the way we let our pride tear us apart.
And promise me, when it rains you’ll think of me. The way I cried my heart out when we broke up for the first time. The way we cried when we thought we’re gonna be torn apart by my mother. The way I cried when you told me you’re not sure if you still love me.
But as the night approaches and the stars appear, remember our deep conversations; the deepest and darkest things that we’ve shared to each other; the way we argued about life and respecting each other’s opinion in the end; the way we found light in each other’s darkness; the first time that we walked together under the starry deep blue sky.
And as you sleep, forget about me and move on. Because all I am is a memory. A memory of what we were—of what we could have been.
As the water embraces me,
I can’t help but think, Will it stop?
The pain and being hurt, Will it stop?
The feeling of helplessness, Will it stop?
The feeling of rejection, Will it ever stop? “Yes” it answered.
As it pulls me deeper and deeper into the abyss.