It has always been you. The person who cannot be more than anything but my crush. My childhood friend.
The years passed by, we went to playing together as kids to not talking anymore. It’s probably because we went to different schools and we probably stopped hanging out.
You were nothing more than an acquaintance, until I saw you again. I believe I was 10, and you were 11. And ever since that day, I knew—nope, I always knew that I kinda liked you.
As years passed we met again, I thought my crush for you just went away. But then I saw you around the campus. Our eyes met. And believe me, it was the longest 3 seconds of my life.
I can’t stop thinking about the way you made me feel. The jittery, fluttery, the-skip-a-beat thing, the i wanna scream right now because you are looking at me, all of those insane things but yet what I have for you still remains to be innocent. I don’t long for you the way that I usually do with my lovers. I don’t imagine what it’s like to be in your arms or imagine kissing you. It’s different. You are different.
Perhaps, it’s the way that we don’t see each other that often. Or the way you look so good in those nerdy glasses. Or is it because we have the same musical taste. I don’t know really. All I know is that, what I have for you can never be reciprocated and I’m okay with that.
It’s this feeling that I wanna remember forever. The innocence of what I have for you.